By Richard Craig
I’ve sat at the Laguna Coffee Company too many times on my first Match.com.com dates. It seems Laguna is the Match.com capital of the world. The couple next to us at LCC were Match.com.com daters, too. And, the guy had already met my date the week before.
I figured out, as I quit online dating, that there seems to be a built-in disposability in Match.com, and I’m as guilty as anyone. First, it seems like everyone has a lie tucked in there some place, and everyone seems to accept it as the norm. Of course, the lie is usually age, but when you meet the woman who looks like the mother of the woman you hoped to meet, it’s a nightmare.
I had such a date. The online picture was hot. She assured me she was mid-fifties, but with a few glasses of wine, her father’s age and some key historical times left her at least ten years older. At least. (Tip: Ask them what they were doing when Kennedy was shot.) I also read that some 40% of online daters are married.
A woman I dated had a lovely tryst one afternoon. Not trusting her new lover, she stuck her iPhone in his briefcase and used her iPad’s tracking device to find her phone that night. Knocking on his front Laguna BeachVillage door, his wife, child in tow, answered. She politely told her why she had come, “I left my phone in his briefcase at the Ritz Carlton this afternoon.” You know the rest.
But most painful is the Match.com dating members’ tendency to treat their dates with a rather disposable attitude. Yep, I’ve done it and I had it done to me: The Dear John text message (actually I never texted a Dear John, it was an email). If your date was introduced to you by family or friends, would you tell him goodbye with a text or would you feel a tad of responsibility to at least call him?
There is the rare Match.com date who you end up emailing and even calling. Then, for whatever reason, you don’t talk for sauntered months and then you talk again. Only one of you remembers the past.
My best friend and former Match.com member coined it “the Wal-Mart of dating.” You are never sure of anything and it will not be long until your shopping for the same thing again. In smaller communities, such as Laguna Beach, anonymity is harder and Match.com seems to have more reliability, but keep in mind that people lie about where they live on Match.com also.
Ladies, where should men go to meet you if they don’t fancy Match.com?