By Richard Craig
I was invited to write a column on dating in Laguna Beach. First, I am no expert at dating, but what I am good at, among other things, is asking questions and listening.
So the editor asked me to give Single in Laguna a try, and here are few facts: Richard Craig is not my real name, but if asked in public I will try not deny who I am. I do write, and have for a long time. I am over 50, single and honestly baffled by the single community in Laguna at times. My job is, with your help, to figure it out.
Rules are simple. I will be honest and even embarrass myself (which I can do easily and often). So, next week I need input, if you are a woman: where do you go to meet guys? In other words where do I tell guys to go to meet you (and please do not suggest Javier’s on Thursday nights)? And, tell me what you are looking for: one night stands to fun casual conversation?
Upcoming stories include “The Five Year Plan” (as explained to me by a Laguna Yoga instructor: find them, get the money (including the boob job and face lift and plan your exit strategy with cash), and “The True Cost of Dating” (should women be expected to pay for half of a date?)
Then of course, I want your love stories. Being a single, hapless romantic, I need love stories for my soul. Along the way I will be dropping my own self-created pyscho babble. But lets start this week with cell phones on a date…..
I have long believed it is best to actually talk to your date, but we have all sat through our date looking at their phone. I had a date who texted through dinner. After the third time, I expressed a bit of dismay at what a lousy date I must be (and I am sure I have been). Her response was exasperated as she explained this was “her dysfunction”. I figured a $200 dinner was a bit pricey for her “dysfunction”. I understand if someone has to focus on a kid or parent, but damn it, can you PLEASE explain it to your date at the outset? If not, I think it signals a real narcissistic tendency that can do nothing but scare your date away. Perhaps try a subtle ring tone or set it to vibrate and sit on it. But please give a guy a break—or at least pick up half the tab.
OK, time for me to fess up. After I met a great woman, she looked over her coffee cup with the covers snuggled up to her waist, and said, “Who the hell were you texting at 3 AM?” If there was any intention of a little morning delight, it faded. My explanation was half-hearted and while it was true, I felt like an ass. So, my advice: Leave the I phone in the car — the danger is too high.
Let me know your advice. I will write about the best ideas, thoughts, and experiences.
I do have one question (each week I will leave you with one): If you are asked to share the pictures on your cell phone with a date, new girlfriend what will you say? Is a cell phone out of bounds to share (and yes, I did look at a new girlfriend’s cell phone pictures once to find her old boyfriend sending pics of his six pack). Most important, if your answer is, “No, I would not share photos,” how would a dork like me say it?