By Richard Craig
Equality of the sexes – really?
Laguna Beach is made up of a wide variety of professional men and women. It doesn’t matter if you are eating breakfast at Zinc’s, dining at the Montage or trying to pick someone up at Javiers – there is one question everyone has asked.
This past week I was amused as I read the responses from my last column. Intriguing was the fact that women want chivalry; they want the man to pick up the tab; and, they want him assertive in bed. At the same time women expect, or even demand, equality every place else. I am lost and I need help.
Of course the date is all about being together and having fun. But I have had my fair share of women tell me that they expect a degree of chivalry, i.e., take me to a nice place as the first priority. As for me, that is either a non starter or the last date.
The best people I have ever worked with have been women; women tend to be disciplined and focused and they were usually my first choice when it came to hires. So, now I realize that despite their financial equality, or ability to bounce a guy out of a job, when it comes to being wooed or in bed, men have got to change their tune.
Some women want men domineering in bed, taking charge, aggressive. I’ll be happy to get an afternoon room at Surf and Sand for a bit of an afternoon delight. That is great and a lot of fun. But I bet those same women are defending their rights to equality at the workplace that very afternoon.
I hear from women that getting ready for a date is expensive: hair, make up, the dress and so on, thus the cost of the date should be on me. OK, what I if I ask her to come along in my Jeep with the top down and there are no requirements for being dressed up? Do we split the afternoon expenses?
The Great Inequality
If women expect to be taken out to nice places and pay nothing, that ends up being free meal after free meal. The cost of the hair and dress can be amortized over quite a few dates. As for the guy, he is trying to find “the one,” and the cost is meal after meal.
What blows my mind is that somehow the bedroom ends up being the great equalizer or un-equalizer. When I asked a woman I was dating about this “lets be equal” rule – lets both give 50/50 – she asked me how I liked the sex (it was good, no it was great!). She told me I was getting my 50% there. The conversation went on and she quickly agreed the sex from her standpoint was equally as good. So now we were at a standoff.
Since she liked me to be assertive and totally in control during sex, how am I to navigate this approach in dating?
Are we equal at work? If so, are we suddenly less equal when it comes to picking up the check? I am to woo her with gifts and dinners? And then when I am successful at that, I am encouraged to be in control in the bedroom.
If she is an equal professional as smart or smarter than me, what game is being played here?
So, give me feedback. From picking up the check to bedroom? Who is on top?